Apparently at some point in the past, Lakewood, Ohio enacted the "Free Motorist Ass-Rape" policy when I wasn't looking.
Here's how it works:
The police wait 5 minutes after a good long local snowfall. Any car found on the road is then ticketed, a good 5 to 10 minutes afterward, the towing companies come through and impound all ticketed cars they find. Hey assholes! Those of us that don't own redneck 4-wheel-drive monster trucks CAN'T FUCKING MOVE THEIR FUCKING CARS.
Here's where the RAPE comes in. Now you have to pay:
1) The police who ticketed your car to get a 'release form'.
2) Some shady towing service in a bad neighborhood that looks to be run by the Hell's Angels.
3) The taxi driver that has to drive your ass to these places.
4) A five minute lecture from some cunt at the police department while said taxi is waiting.
This happened to me on Valentine's Day appropriately enough (the city should have at least given me flowers or chocolates or taken me out to dinner first before ass-raping me with their nasty, dirty, infected cocks). I'm sure that having a Florida plate on my car was the city's version of "He was asking for it".
All told my wallet was violated for about $300, fucking fabulous.
To add insult to injury, someone at the towing company made a duplicate key and rifled through my papers and shit. WTF!?
And if you say to me: "It's your own damn fault for parking on the street".
I say to you: "Eat the corn from my shit". Assholes...
-=/Neon
(c) 2007 --- Banana Data Systems